Why Experiences Make Us Happier Than Things — The Research on Spending
By the numbers
Figures come from the studies cited at the end of this page. Numbers describe group averages and study samples, not rules about individuals.
The evidence
What the research actually shows
The clearest starting point is Van Boven and Gilovich's paper 'To Do or to Have? That Is the Question' (2003, JPSP). Across surveys and experiments, people asked to reflect on a recent experiential purchase (something they did) reported more happiness and thought it money better spent than people reflecting on a comparable material purchase (something they had). The gap held across income levels, though it tended to be somewhat larger for those with more disposable income.
The advantage begins before the purchase is even used. Kumar, Killingsworth and Gilovich (2014) found that people derive more happiness from anticipating experiences than from anticipating possessions: waiting for a trip tends to feel like pleasant excitement, while waiting for a gadget tends to feel more like impatience. Their studies of consumers waiting in line even found that people waiting for experiences were better behaved and in better moods than those waiting for material goods.
A key reason experiences hold up is that they resist hedonic adaptation — the well-documented tendency for the emotional impact of a change to fade as we get used to it. A new phone or car delivers a spike of pleasure that erodes as it becomes ordinary, while a memorable experience is often re-enjoyed in memory, reframed positively over time, and less easily compared with what others have. Broader work by Dunn, Gilbert and Wilson (2011) on 'if money doesn't make you happy, you probably aren't spending it right' gathered these principles into practical guidance, with buying experiences near the top of the list.
The mechanism
Why this happens
Experiences tend to become woven into our sense of identity in a way objects rarely do. We are, in a sense, the sum of our experiences, so a memorable trip or a hard-won concert becomes part of the story we tell about ourselves, whereas we own our possessions without becoming them. This makes experiences more resistant to buyer's remorse and less vulnerable to the corrosive habit of comparing our stuff with other people's.
Experiences are also more social. Many of them are shared with others in the moment, and even solo experiences generate stories that connect us to people afterward — we bond over what we did far more than over what we bought. Because strong social relationships are among the most reliable predictors of well-being, spending that builds connection tends to pay a double dividend of enjoyment now and closeness later.
Memory does quiet editing that favors experiences too. We tend to remember the emotional peaks and the endings of experiences and to smooth over the boring or difficult parts, so a rained-on camping trip can become a fond, funny story with time. Possessions get no such flattering revision; a scratched, outdated object simply looks worn, offering little of the reframing that keeps experiences glowing.
We are, in a sense, the sum of our experiences — so a trip becomes part of us, while a possession is only ever owned.
In practice
What this looks like in real life
Two people spend a similar amount — one on an upgraded television, the other on a weekend away with friends. Months later the television is just the normal screen in the room, barely noticed, while the trip is retold at dinners, laughed about, and remembered as a highlight of the year. The research would predict exactly this divergence.
Anticipation shapes the everyday too. The weeks before a planned holiday often carry a low hum of pleasure — browsing, imagining, counting down — that a pre-ordered gadget rarely provides; the waiting for an object mostly feels like wanting it now. For many people, planning the experience is a meaningful slice of the joy.
The categories blur in useful ways. A bicycle, a musical instrument, or camping gear is technically a possession, but its whole value lies in the experiences and relationships it makes possible. Spending framed around what an object will let you do or share tends to behave more like an experiential purchase than a purely material one.
Myth vs. evidence
What most people get wrong about this
The most common misreading is that this means possessions never bring happiness or that you should feel guilty for wanting nice things. The research is about averages and tendencies, not an absolute rule: material goods that reliably enable experiences, save time, or support relationships can contribute real, lasting well-being. The point is not to renounce objects but to notice that, dollar for dollar, doing tends to beat having.
People also assume the effect is uniform across everyone. It is not. Individual differences matter — those high in materialism tend to derive less happiness from experiences and more attachment to possessions, and someone who genuinely loves a craft or hobby may get deep, durable joy from the tools of it. Culture, personality and circumstance all shift the size of the effect, which is why it is a helpful heuristic rather than a law.
Why it matters
What this means for relationships
For couples and families, this research is a quiet argument for spending on shared experiences over accumulating things. Trips, classes, meals out, concerts and simple adventures generate the shared memories and inside jokes that bind people together, and separate research on relationships finds that novel, engaging shared activities help keep bonds feeling alive. A gift of a shared experience often lands better, and lasts longer in the relationship, than another object.
It also reframes generosity and celebration. Rather than defaulting to more stuff for birthdays and holidays, planning something to do together — even something small and inexpensive — tends to yield more happiness and connection per dollar. None of this requires wealth: a picnic, a hike, or a home cooking project counts as an experience, and the well-being benefits of experiential spending do not depend on the price tag.
Experiential vs. material purchases
A side-by-side contrast to make the distinction concrete — patterns and tendencies, not rigid rules.
| Aspect | Experiences | Possessions |
|---|---|---|
| Over time | Re-enjoyed and reframed in memory | Pleasure fades as they become ordinary |
| Anticipation | Waiting feels like pleasant excitement | Waiting feels more like impatience |
| Identity | Become part of who we are | Owned but not internalized |
| Connection | Shared and bonding | More prone to social comparison |
Where it varies
The nuance
This is a robust and much-replicated finding, but it is a group average with real exceptions and moderators. The size of the experiential advantage varies with personality, culture, income and the specific purchase, and some carefully designed studies find the gap narrows or shifts under certain conditions. The honest summary is that experiences tend to win, not that they always do for every person or purchase.
The material-experiential distinction is also fuzzier than it first appears, because many purchases are both, and the same object can be experienced very differently by different people. Treat the research as a well-supported nudge toward valuing doing and sharing over merely having — a useful lens for spending decisions, rather than a strict formula for guaranteed happiness.
Key takeaways
- On average, experiential purchases bring more lasting happiness than material ones of similar cost.
- Experiences resist hedonic adaptation because we re-enjoy them in memory and weave them into our identity.
- We get more happiness anticipating experiences than possessions, so the looking-forward is part of the joy.
- Experiences are more social and less prone to comparison, which helps protect their value over time.
- It is a strong tendency, not a rule — objects that enable experiences or connection can also bring lasting well-being.
Questions people ask about this
Do experiences really make people happier than possessions?
On average, yes. Research suggests that reflecting on experiential purchases brings more happiness than reflecting on comparable material ones, largely because experiences resist fading, build connection and become part of our identity. It is a strong tendency, not an absolute rule for every person or purchase.
Why do experiences bring more lasting happiness?
Experiences resist hedonic adaptation — the fading of pleasure as things become familiar — because we re-enjoy them in memory, tend to reframe rough parts positively, and weave them into our identity. They are also more social and harder to compare against others, which protects their value over time.
Does this mean buying things is a waste of money?
No. The research is about tendencies, not a ban on possessions. Objects that enable experiences, save time or support relationships can bring real, lasting well-being. The practical takeaway is that, dollar for dollar, doing and sharing tend to beat merely having.
Why does looking forward to a trip feel so good?
Studies suggest we get more happiness from anticipating experiences than from anticipating possessions. Waiting for a trip tends to feel like pleasant excitement, while waiting for an object tends to feel more like impatience. For many people, the anticipation is a real part of the joy.
What if I love collecting or a particular hobby?
Individual differences matter. Someone who genuinely loves a craft or hobby can get deep, durable joy from its tools, and objects tied to meaningful activity often behave like experiential purchases. The research describes averages, so personal passions are a reasonable exception.
How can couples use this idea?
Spending on shared experiences — trips, classes, meals, small adventures — tends to build the memories and closeness that bind partners together, and it need not be expensive. A picnic or a hike counts. Gifts of shared experiences often last longer in a relationship than another object.
Research sources
These references point to the published research and established frameworks behind this page. They are provided for further reading; see our research methodology for how sources are selected.
- Van Boven, L., & Gilovich, T. (2003). To do or to have? That is the question. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 85(6), 1193–1202.
- Kumar, A., Killingsworth, M. A., & Gilovich, T. (2014). Waiting for merlot: Anticipatory consumption of experiential and material purchases. Psychological Science, 25(10), 1924–1931.
- Dunn, E. W., Gilbert, D. T., & Wilson, T. D. (2011). If money doesn't make you happy, then you probably aren't spending it right. Journal of Consumer Psychology, 21(2), 115–125.
- Carter, T. J., & Gilovich, T. (2012). I am what I do, not what I have: The differential centrality of experiential and material purchases to the self. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 102(6), 1304–1317.
- Gilovich, T., Kumar, A., & Jampol, L. (2015). A wonderful life: Experiential consumption and the pursuit of happiness. Journal of Consumer Psychology, 25(1), 152–165.
Last reviewed by the Men Women Psychology editorial team.
Written and reviewed by the Men Women Psychology Editorial Team against our editorial standards. This article is educational and is not a substitute for professional advice.